Arachnophobia To The Point Of Extinction
by No Named Angel
Summary: Angelique gets sent to Middle Earth. She's happy at first until she realizes she has no idea where she is. Enjoy laughing at her first encounters with giant spiders and annoying hobbits. Plus one sexy elf! Wait where did her sister come from!
1. The Beginning Duh

Arachnophobia to the Point of Extinction

This is my first LOTR fic so I really need someone to beta my stories so if someone is willing please leave it in a review!

Disclaimer- I do not own, but wish to very much, own the fellowship or anyone else made up by JRR Tolkien. I own only Angel among other things.

And onward...

The Beginning...Duh..

"Days are fun. Mornings are our friends... my ass!" I said, a grimace starting to form on my face. I was talking to my friend Tessie on our way to 1st period English, second only to 5th period Science, the bane of my existence.

"Mornings are fun! Besides ya know what you need! Sugar-sugar solves everything, you know what else is good...caffeine. Caffeine and sugar. Sugar and caffei-.." Tessie went on to say something about caffeine being her god, but I stopped paying attention after she said something about sugar for one reason.

Let's see this reason was about six foot, black hair, blue eyes, pale-you get the idea. His name was Ben. Ben Tuban. He was basically one of your average guys who wore t-shirts and baggy pants every day, except for the fact that his boxers never showed, he was nice, and he wasn't a complete ass, he was perfect.  
"Hey-loooo. Anybody home? You seem to have left the lights on in your truck." Tessie said interrupting my thoughts on the perfect example of what a man should look like. Furthermore she continued to pound her fist into my head.

"Owwww... Ha-ha-ha you think you're funny don't you. God, I need to find some friends who won't physically abuse me.."

"Why, yes I do, and I heard that. Besides, like you could find anyone who loves you the way I do."

"Your right. The only place I could find friends who loved me like you would be in an insane asylum or in the county jail."

"Yup! And remember don't drop the soap. Come on English calls. Let's go before the bell rings."

"Tess, I don't think that counts in a women's prison.." I loved Tess like a sister, but sometimes she worried me.

"Hello ladies," Mr. Walker, my English teacher, said as we walked into his classroom.

"Hello Mr. Walker." Tessie and I said in unison, we were perfect students inside the classroom.

"Ok class, today we'll be learning about--"

At that moment a voice was heard over the intercom, "Everyone remain calm there is a tornado coming our way, we don't know why we were not notified earlier, but we must evacuate to the basement immediately. I repeat evacuate to the basement. That is all"

That is all my ass. We have a fuckin' tornado coming our way, not panic, for sure.

"Ok everyone follow me..." Mr. Walker said.

A rumbling was heard and a window shattered. People screaming. A block of cement heading my way. Black.

"Owwww."

I must've hit my head harder than I thought because all I saw were colors mushed together to make blurs of brown, green, and blue. I blinked a couple times and found that the colors were actually trees, the ground, and the sky. Wait a minute, trees, sky, I'm outside. What the hell! Okay, let's be calm. I'm in a new environment which I know nothing about, where there are probably spiders and ticks and other..ugly things.

Okay to hell with being calm, "HELP ME! HELP! HELP! SOMEONE HE-"

You may not have noticed but I am doing some editing to my story and reposting it! YAY for me! I am still looking for someone to beta my stories. Basically I would send you my chapter and you would read, make comments, fix up my random stupid grammar/spelling mistakes, and boost my ego when I'm sad. If you're interested in betaing for me please send me an e-mail or leave a review with yours saying your interested.

MUCHO LOVE ANGIE


	2. Hello Mr Spider

Wow! I'm not dead! Yes I know, hard to believe. Well I guess I would like to thank my reviewers! I really didn't expect anyone to read my little, tiny, miniscule first chapter. BUT YOU DID! AND I LOVE Y'ALL! 

Disclaimer: I own nothing except what randomly pops out of my crazy head.OH! Good-bye Mr. Purple Bunny! 

Arachnophobia To The Point Of Extinction Ch. 2

"Oh god...", I stopped screaming and found myself looking straight into the eyes of one of the largest spiders ever to have existed on the planet. I swear it should've been on Ripley's, I might've been more aware of it, of course I probably would have proceeded to puke my guts out in terror afterwards, but everything has a downside doesn't it?

"Hello Mr. I-am-a-big-huge-spider-who-could-probably-rip-my-head-off-right-now, but do you think you could uhm... possibly skip the rip my head off part and just let me go?" I had started to slowly back away from the enormous spider, but only found myself backed up against a tree. 

"I'm guessing you're hungry, right?"

'Stupid, of course it's hungry! I mean sure if I didn't notice it was drooling, coming towards me, and being followed by practically an ARMY of little tiny baby spiders, I mean yeah I probably wouldn't have known., but since it is.. Oh God the first sign of insanity is talking to yourself... Shit'

Well I had now noticed the spider had stopped. I groaned, it was probably thinking about "which part was the yummiest". It made me think of the chart in health with the pig. Little parts of the pig were divided into sections that said which part was ok to eat and which wasn't.

Ok, let's think... I have about three options. Scream, causing the spider to rip my head off and enjoy its newly acquired lunch, run and then proceed to scream for help; a little better I guess; or wait for it to eat me. Let's see what's behind curtain number two!

"Here we go..." I muttered to myself before taking a deep breath, preparing myself for the workout of a life time, "HELP ME, I'M BEING CHASED BY ABNORMALLY LARGE SPIDERS! JESUS, I'M BEING CHASED BY GOD'S REJECTS!"

About five, maybe ten, minutes later I slowed down and stopped running. Apparently someone had either killed the spider and I hadn't noticed or it got bored and went to go find a less loud and obnoxious kill. Either that or its still after me and it thought it would be fun to give me a head start.

I hoped it had picked on of the first two and leaned against a nearby tree. Gods, that was all there was in this place! Trees and gigantic bugs. I mean have nothing against nature, except for the whole bugs thing, and I'm all for saving the rainforest but I have never had to deal with having to run away from a bug that could eat me.

"Ow... my back, what the heck?" I reached behind me and found my backpack still securely strapped in place.

"Hmmm... lets see if there's anything good in here..." I reached in and pulled out my mp3 player, my LOTR books; I had read the first one before the movies but never got around to finishing the rest; my Calc book, drawing pad, lunch from yesterday.., four mechanical pencils, and a set of 72 colored pencils. I guess if you're going to be stuck in some no name forest you might as well enjoy the scenery.  
I took out one of my pencils and searched through my bag for my drawing eraser. It wasn't in the large pouch... now where did I put it! Me, being the weirdo that I am, began to think out loud.

"Damn eraser! Now, where did I put it?" I looked in the small front pocket, "Ha you little bugger, that's where I put you!"

I sat down and leaned against the tree, took my pad in hand, and started to decide what to draw.

"Let's see... So many choices trees, trees, maybe the grass, hmm... The sky, trees, that bunny, or... the weird city hidden behind the giant tree that I had not noticed before!" I jumped up as I said the last part.

"Maybe they know where I am, cause all I know is that I sure as heck don't!", and with that I headed off to the city.

Well I hope you liked the second installment of this fic. My sister had read the first chapter earlier today and forced me to update. I kinda like how this chapter turned out and I've got almost everything totally planned out! The only thing to do now since I already wrote and fulfilled my duties as an authoress, you must go and do your job as a reader and review, savvy? Gotta love Will and Jack! Oh yeah and HAPPY BIRTHDAY ORLANDO BLOOM! His b-day is tomorrow, or today, or Jan. 13 depending on when you're reading this.


	3. Memo To Self Learn Elvish

YAY! Third chapter! I wonder if that really deserves a "YAY!"? ..... Hmm.. Let's consult my Leggylove!  
  
(Leggylo.. I mean) Legolas: I don't think so.....  
  
*Waaaaaaahhh* I feel so unloved now.. But if you review I will be a million times happier than I am right now and I will forgive Leggy!  
  
I figured out how to get the italics to work, so all elvish will be in Italics!!!  
  
~Arachnaphobia To The Point Of Extinction~  
  
~Memo To Self - Learn Elvish~  
  
'Ok, this was it,' I thought, 'either the city was : A. not as close as I thought it was or B. I was really out of shape. Lets just hope I'm not getting fat.'  
  
  
  
I stopped at a nice looking pond and began to think about where I was and how I got here. Ok, lets see, I went to school this morning, talked to Tessie.. WAIT! Maybe Tessie is an evil witch who pretended to be my friend, and then sent me to this odd looking place because...because..uhhm.. she thought I was too pretty and I would ruin her plan of global take over! Yes! That's it.. Wait, no, Tessie isn't smart enough.. Now, back to how i got here, now where was I? Oh yeah, after I talked to Tessie I went to English, and then Mr. Myers told us that there was a tornado coming, and then everyone was screaming and running around, and then I got smacked with a giant block of cement... Oh yes, lets blame the cement, lets...  
  
"DAMN YOU WHOEVER CREATED CEMENT! YOU RUINED MY LIFE AND SENT ME TO HELL!!" I was about to continue with my rant when I noticed a not so friendly group of people had surrounded me and then proceeded in poking me with their 'big manly arrows'.  
  
  
  
"Hey watch it buddy, I'm not some animal you can stab to death and roast over the fire!" I yelled at one particular guy, and then I noticed that these 'men' were really blooming hot! Sure that's a little shallow, but it was the truth.   
  
Apparently Mr. Hot-man #1 didn't understand english, I looked around at the confused faces and realized they all didn't understand English! I'm gonna die alone and misunderstood, but then again don't we all?   
  
"Mani naa essa en lle?"[1] One of them asked poking me with an arrow. I looked him over and noticed he had pointed ears and looked oddly familiar in some way.  
  
"You know what Mr.Hot-man, you probably have no idea as to what I'm saying, but you know what with your ears and funny get-up you almost look like an elf....oh..."   
  
Great, I get hit with a cement block and I'm sent to Middle Earth, oh yeah they'll believe me back home. Ok, so they speak elvish, or some type of it. I hope I'm speaking the right one, not that it would matter because all I know are a couple of phrases and words and...  
  
"Auta miqula orqu[2].." As soon as I said that the elves all started yelling at me in elvish and speaking too fast for me to understand. Oh man why did I say that out loud? Oh no, think of something fast, and you're supposed to be SMART?!  
  
"Amin hiraetha[3], Amin hiraetha, Amin hiraetha!" Goddess please don't let them kill me!  
  
Apparently my apology was enough to get them to calm down a bit. Well it was enough to get them to go back to poking me and start talking to me again.  
  
"Manke naa lle tuulo[4]?" Mr. Hot-man asked again, I guess I should start calling him Mr. Hot-man #2 because Legolas will be the only elf for me! I wonder where he is right now...  
  
"OW! Ok, I am from AMERICA. Say it with me A-M-E-R-I-C-A!" I think I just utterly confused the hell out of him. Maybe I should ask them to take me to their leader? Or to the nearby city, yeah, that's good! How do you say that in elvish...  
  
"Uhm..Nauva lle san mi a' vell nevinin tiaglass?[5]" Oh gods I hope that was right.   
  
Apparently I did say 'Take me to the nearest city' because one of the elves nodded his head and we set off in what I believed to be the direction of the city.   
  
One thought echoed through my mind,'Maybe I'll see Legolas!'  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Yay! Third chapter done! I just wanna thank all the people who reviewed the first and second chapter, and tell you that YOU GUYS ROCK!!! I really hope that you guys like this fic. I just wanna ask if I should put the translations at the end of the fic or right after the language shift? Please leave your preference in a review of e-mail it to me.  
  
Translations------  
  
Mani naa essa en lle?[1] = what's your name?  
  
Auta miqula orqu[2] = go kiss an orc  
  
Amin hiraetha[3] = I'm sorry  
  
Manke naa lle tuulo? [4] = Where are you from?  
  
Nauva lle san mi a' vell nevinin tiaglass? [5] = Will you take me to the nearest city?  
  
Please if you're gonna flame me, do so GENTLY! 


	4. God, why?

Woohoo! If I keep getting atleast a couple reviews a chapter it'll only be like 10 more, chapters I mean, until I get 40 reviews! I am so goal orientated!!! I get to kinda miss school tomorrow, we leave school, walk a mile to a church, and then play games all day. PEER HELPING IS COOL! Well ya I think I am done, I just wanna say that I LOVE YOU PEOPLE AND YOU KEEP ME FROM BECOMING A NON-WRITING PERSON! Ok, yay! New chapter!  
  
Just to tell ya she's gonna end up in Rivendell and not Mirkwood, I even have a semi-mostly-reasonable explanation for it, so if you wanna know I'll tell you, just not now.  
  
Disclaimer- Do not own. Don't even think about it, suing = arrows in the butt.  
  
~Arachnaphobia To The Point of Extinction~  
  
~ God, why me? ~  
  
Well we were on our way, to the nearest city, which was, in accordance to the prophecy, Rivendell. Uhm.. I think...  
  
GRRR.... I hate walking, running, or any type of extracurricular activity. You know anything involving muscles or endurance, or physical movement. I was just not made for this kind of thing.  
  
I sat down on a nearby log and motioned for the elves to join me, " Guys... Come on.. I'm really tired *wheeze* and I need... *cough* a break... I'm gonna die of exha-*CRASH* BAJEEBUS WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"   
  
I headed toward where Trern was. I finally knew what his name is. Actually, it didn't really take all THAT long to figure out their names, I mean they were nice enough to point to themselves and say 'My name is..' But really, come on 'My name is..', is like the first thing you learn.. but it was nice that they said it slowly... Well there was Trern, and his two brothers, Lengorn and Or..Ott..Oc.. well I just call him Otto.. let's just put it this way, he has a big name, lots of syllables and consonants. Lets just say his name is bigger than my brain, LOTS bigger.  
  
Well, I could see something in Trern's arms, it looked like some kind of animal or something. Maybe a dying one. He moved it around, and I got a better look at its face, or maybe I should say HER face.  
  
" Vickie?! What the hell are you doing here?"  
  
" Hey Ang, uhm.. how's it going?" She smiled weakly, and I could tell she was a little confused.  
  
I pulled her aside. My sister was here, with me, in ME, which was WAAYY too dangerous for my baby sister. Oh god.. I could feel older sister mode kicking in..  
  
" Vickie, first off how did you get here? Are you hurt? Do you need anything, are you breathing, do you feel okay, you want a coat, these guys are really nice about that, and WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING MY CLOTHES?!?!"  
  
" Uhmmm.. the weird tornado thingy, no, no, yes, yes, no, really? And would you believe all my clothes were in the washer?"   
  
I looked at her crossly.  
  
" Well it was worth a shot... Now for my turn at twenty questions. Where are we, who are they, do they speak English, where are we going, and why do they look like Legolas wanna-be's?"  
  
  
  
Oh, ya know when we're old and dying we're gonna think back to this and be like, 'What the hell happened?'  
  
" Well Vick, its kinda funny, well we're in Middle-Earth, you know the whole big, one ring thing, the guys are elves, no joke. They speak no English haha isn't that funny, and we're going to Rivendell," I looked at them. " We ARE going to Rivendell right?"  
  
The trio nodded their heads. YAY! Atleast I finally knew something that was for sure.  
  
" Well they look like Mr. Hot-man because once again they are elves. I don't think they look much like Legolas, but whatever.."   
  
And they say I am blind. I mean they look NOTHING like my stud muffin!   
  
Well, lets just say Vickie and I are gonna have a little talk about what we're gonna do now that we're here.... not now, when we get to Rivendell.... yeah.. Rivendell...  
  
~~~~ At The Gates of Rivendell ~~~~  
  
" Paly vell fennas a' Trern Caelelan ar' ryi toror," Trern said toward the guards at the top of the gates. [Open wide the doors for Trern Caelelan and his elven brothers]  
  
The doors swung wide open and a guard greeted each of the brothers. One of them approached Trern in regards to us, I think.  
  
" Nae saian luume'," the guard said toward Trern. [It has been long]  
  
" Noss utue atta edaina e' vell taure." Trern said in reply. [We found two human women in the forest]  
  
It went on like that for awhile, I really didn't understand a word that they were saying.   
  
" Hey Ang.."  
  
" Yeah Vick?"  
  
" I don't think they're speaking English.."  
  
Oi.. why me god, why? Anyone I could have been stuck with, but no..  
  
" Yes Vickie, they aren't speaking English.."  
  
"What about Gandalf, shouldn't he be able to speak English? I mean he is a wizard, and they're supposed to know all the languages, right?"  
  
OMG! Why didn't I think of that? I'm supposed to be the smart one, wait let me go check, yeah I'm supposed to be the smart one. I tried not to let how disturbed I was show.  
  
" Yeah Vick, you're right. Maybe there is some hope for you yet"  
  
Then again.. she is Vickie.. So we're doomed...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
They led us to a room, like nothing I ever imagined. It was beautiful. The bed, the dresser, the bathroom, everything looked like it was made for a queen, and not some strange girl found in a forest. Apparently Elves are very well-mannered and pride themselves in their hospitality.  
  
" Hey Vick."  
  
" Yeah?"  
  
" Get some sleep, I can tell tomorrow's gonna be big.."  
  
"Ok, and Ang..  
  
" Yup?"  
  
"I love you"  
  
"You too Ducks.. you too.. now get some sleep.."  
  
And with that we both collapsed onto the bed, drifting into a dreamless sleep, wondering what tomorrow would bring.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`  
  
Ok, kinda short, but it was ok. PEER HELPING!! HUZZAH! Ok now I think I'm just acting really weird and hyper, and crazy, and I think I did a really bad job on this chapter. Please review! Please! Please! Please! And Amadea YOU ROCK!!!! My reviewer who's reviewed all of my chapters even though they are really bad and I can't write for monkey-poo.. 


	5. Cause We're Crazy Silly

Woohoo! Updating.. To all my loyal reviewers I must tell you that your once healthy and happy authoress is now sick and happy. I have Strep! I have strep throat!! Blech.. Oh well I guess I can be sick and happy..  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own. All I have right now is strep, and unless you stupid laywers want that, as well as nineteen cents, then I suggest you leave me alone! Enjoy!  
  
~ Arachnaphobia To The Point Of Extinction ~  
  
~ Cause We're Crazy Silly ~  
  
I can tell today is going to be fun, because today we get to go talk to Elrond about how we have 'invaded the land of elves..blah blah blah.. see him after breakfast.. blah blah blah...' Well I'm sorry if we couldn't choose where we would end up if we were in some freaky dinky accident. Actually, now that I think about it, I probably would have still picked to end up in Rivendell. Notice how I said IN Rivendell and not OUTSIDE Rivendell in some forest. Geeze you think they would get it right, but no..  
  
I heard Vickie mumble in her sleep, it sounded something like ' Satab's an anal dwelling butt-monkey' but I'm not sure. Oh well, I guess now is as good a time as any to wake my sister up so we could go to breakfast.  
  
I poked her in the shoulder, "Vickie, wake up." Hmmm.. Nothing..  
  
"VICKIE WAKE UP!!"   
  
  
  
By the goddess she sleeps like a rock, a big skinny rock who won't wake up! I wonder if lack of oxygen will wake her up. I placed a pillow on her head, which she promptly wrapped her arm around by instinct, and I sat on her head.  
  
Muffled screams could be heard from beneath the pillow. I stood up and picked up the pillow allowing her to enjoy the wonderful sensation we humans like to call 'breathing'.   
  
"Ang, you know what. I hate you. You know I hate mornings, and not being able to breathe, and being sat on too! But you did not one, not even two, but all THREE of them!! Why?! Why did you do this to me?!"  
  
"Can you say drama queen? Come on Vickie, don't you remember the speech they gave us as soon as we got here? The whole meet Mr. Eyebrows after breakfast. If you don't remember I'm going to smack you, the elf that was telling us was like THIS CLOSE," I put my hands in front of my face to show how close the elf was, "to my face I mean really, has the guy ever heard of personal boundaries?"  
  
"Appparently not." Came the sarcastic reply.  
  
"Don't get smart with me young missy. Now you go get dressed I think the maid or someone already picked dresses out for us."  
  
I looked around and found the dresses that they had picked out for us. Well the elves work hard to impress. The dresses were beautiful, probably to match the perfect she-elf wearing them. I had an odd loathing for she-elves right then, so perfect, and BLONDE, they were practically all blonde, and obviously well endowed looking at the dress. Oh well I'm no elf, and I'm not trying to be, but I'm gonna at least try and make myself look pretty damn good in this dress!  
  
I put the dress on and found that it fit well, really well. I wonder how they knew the size, maybe elves are all knowing, or maybe they know without knowing, or maybe they know that I know without actually knowing that I know. Or maybe..  
  
"Ang are you ready?!" My sister screamed from the bathroom, interrupting my oh so important train of thought.  
  
I scowled, "You interrupted my thinking."  
  
"It's not like you were contemplating the meaning of life, now since you woke me up in the morning and you worked pretty hard doing that I don't think we should be late to our obvious appointment, now should we?"  
  
"Erg, you know I hate it when you make sense."  
  
A lady elf walked in and motioned for us to follow her which brought something to mind, how the hell were we gonna talk to Elrond if he couldn't understand us? Unless, maybe, Gandalf was there.. Praise to the gods, something was going right!   
  
We arrived at a door which I assumed was the entrance to the hall. The elf pushed open the doors and led us to a table, pointing out two chairs for ourselves, and left us there. I was so nervous that I almost tripped into my chair. Notice how I said ALMOST, I'm really proud of this actually.  
  
I sat down and began to eat, but not before looking at my fellow guests at the table. I looked around and came to the conclusion that today had to be October twenty-fourth. The day of the council and the day Frodo was to awaken. I could see Boromir in a corner, happily engaged in a conversation with a she-elf, aargh the she-elves. I used to feel bad that he died, but no more.. I found Pippin flinging food at Merry, and Merry trying ever so hard not to laugh and throw a couple grapes back at Pippin. I smiled at their antics, I always liked them, they always seemed to make me laugh. I spotted Gimli laughing at a joke his fellow dwarf had made, I always enjoyed the contests him and Legolas participated in during battle. Speaking of Legolas.. I noticed him in a corner of the room surrounded by, you guessed it she-elves. There was never a time in my life when I hated another human being as much as I did then. Well actually this time wouldn't be that time because at that moment I wasn't hating another human being.  
  
I turned my head away from the disgusting females flinging themselves at my elfipoo, "Vickie, can you believe that. I mean look at them flirting and batting their eyelashes at him. I can't stand it!"  
  
My sister thought for a moment and replied with, "If you're so jealous, then why don't you go over and talk to him."  
  
"Vickie, are you insane. He wouldn't understand me! I might as well be standing there having a one-sided conversation with myself!"  
  
I looked at my sister and found her staring at a particularly goodlooking elf. "Yup, I might as well be talking to myself.."  
  
The elf who had brought us here came back to lead us to Mr. Eyebrows. I mean really, what is up with those things. They look really pointy..  
  
We reached the room and right before she left I turned to her.   
  
"Thank you."  
  
I knew she couldn't understand me, but I think she got what I was trying to tell her because as she left I could see that she was smiling.  
  
Before I could do anything else my sister had grabbed my arm and pulled me into the study, and dragging me to my fate.  
  
I could see Eyebrow-Man in a chair motioning for us to sit down in the ones across from him. I sat in the chair and was about to speak when someone spoke before me.  
  
"Welcome to Rivendell, may I ask what your names are?"  
  
I turned to look at the source of the voice, and found that it belonged to none other than Gandalf himself! Me being so happy to hear English spoken from another mouth other than myself and my sister, ran up and hugged him.  
  
"GANDALF!!!!!" I heard him chuckle and shake his head.  
  
"Lady, as much as I delight in the affection of a beautiful lady as yourself, may I once again inquire as to both of your names?"  
  
I blushed. Hehehe..whoops, thankfully I was saved by Vickie.  
  
"My name is Victoria Carsne, preferably Vickie. That over there is my older sister Angelique Carsne."  
  
I smiled at my sister appreciating the save, "Gandalf, as you can obviously see, we are having communication problems with the elves here. We are so language-handicapped right now that we cannot even speak Westron. Is there anything you can do to help us, you know like waving your magic wand and making it all better?"  
  
He chuckled at the magic wand bit and nodded his head, "There is a spell that I can perform that will allow you to speak virtually any language."  
  
"YAY!! WOOHOO! Vickie, we'll be able to UNDERSTAND people now! Well kinda..."  
  
I noticed I was getting stares from Elrond and headshakes from Gandalf, but I didn't care I was going to be able to have a conversation with Legolas! Yay!  
  
"Do all of your kind act this way?"   
  
"No its just cause we're crazy silly!"  
  
"Now ladies, lets calm down for a moment and talk about what is going to happen now..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Hey, I did a cliffhanger! I think.. I dunno.. But do you like this chapter? Tell me in a review, even if you hate me and my story! I love you people! MWUAH! I'll probably be updating really soon just to tell you! GO AMADEA! Satab is an inside joke between my sister and myself if you are wondering.. 


	6. Mission, quest, thing

Well I guess I'm just in a writing mood today so guess what? What, you ask. NEW CHAPTER! Yeah Amadea I stole the whole butt-monkey thing from 'Bruce Almighty' Which, by the way, is a hilarious movie! Still sick, but I have to go to school tomorrow and I have done like none of my makeup work. I know, shame, shame on me!  
  
Discalimer: I own nothing except that of which I own. Ooo that's confusing!  
  
~Arachnaphobia To The Point Of Extinction~  
  
~ Mission, quest,...thing ~  
  
Gandalf looked at each of us in the eyes, " Ladies, I believe that your being here is no accident, I believe fate has brought you here to Rivendell on a very important date..."  
  
I interrupted him, " The day of the council."  
  
Elrond looked surprised, but Gandalf just nodded.  
  
"Yes, the council," he paused as if contemplating something and then continued, "I believe you were sent here for a reason. I will not be surprised if you knew the reason for this council."  
  
My sister answered this time, " This council was created to decide what to do about the one ring, the ring created by Sauron. By placing all of his being, his evil, into the ring he made it more powerful than the others."   
  
I rolled my eyes. Suck up..  
  
Gandalf nodded, " Yes, I believe that you will be of some help at the council. I will perform the spell and then I must go. I have to check on Frodo, I believe he will awaken soon."  
  
Gandalf said a few verses in a language I didn't understand and then he tapped us on the heads with his staff and left.  
  
Yay! I could now understand the elves, and practically anyone! Hmm.. if I was back home right now, I could confuse the living daylights out of ANYONE! Hee hee hee..  
  
"So Elly-rond you can understand me now, huh.." I looked at him with what I thought were hopeful looking eyes.  
  
He looked at me a little confused," Yes, I can understand you.."  
  
"YES! Now time to go find my tall blonde archer lover!!" I jumped out of my chair and ran out the door leaving a confused Elrond and a sighing sister.  
  
"Where is she going? Should I be worried?" Elrond asked looking at Vickie.  
  
"She's probably gone to find Legolas, and yes you should be worried.. VERY worried..." My sister stood up and headed toward the door, "But don't worry I'll try not to let her get her into too much trouble.."  
  
Elrond just shook his head and sighed, "Why me, Valar, why me?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well I was off in search of my prey, but I just couldn't seem to find him, its like he disappeared... Now why would he want to do that when I was looking for him? Well I had found Arwen and Aragorn all kissy kissy outside, I found Gimli all..uhm.. Gimli-ish, found Boromir being manly or atleast trying to be... Grr, this place was WAY too big!   
  
I walked through a door hoping to be in the kitchen, hey I got hungry after all that searching, only to find myself in Frodo's bedroom. Apparently he hadn't woken up yet. I sat next to him, beginning to study him. He looked shorter in real life, and more innocent. I couldn't believe that he was going to have to take the ring to Mordor..  
  
He stirred a bit and opened his eyes.  
  
"Welcome to the land of the living Mr. Baggins.." I smiled at him.  
  
He looked at me and then around the room, "Where am I? And how do you know my name?"  
  
"You are in Rivendell, home of the really hot elves, or atleast temporary home," I smiled, " and I know many things about you and of the things to come Frodo. But more on that later because I think Sam would like to talk to you now.."  
  
Sam then burst through the door. Frodo raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Mr. Frodo, I am so glad you are alright! I was so worried about you!" He hugged Frodo in a friendly manner and looked at me. "Who is that?"  
  
"See, told ya Frodo. I think I'm gonna go back to my elf hunting now. See ya later Sammy boy!"  
  
  
  
I walked around for a bit more, but I still couldn't seem to find him! I was getting angry.. Unfortunately it didn't help my mood when I didn't see the two hobbit like blurs who were about to crash into me. If I had seen them I probably would have moved or atleast asked to join them in their obvious merriment in running away from the angry cook. Like I said before, unfortunately for me, I didn't see them. My butt will now hurt for the rest of my life!  
  
I shook my head, "Could this get any worse.." I looked around for the hobbits that ran me over. I found them a couple rooms down arguing.  
  
The one that I had identified as Pippin was obviously proud of himself for some reason because he had a wide grin on his face.  
  
"Merry wasn't that fun?!"  
  
"No! I told you not to take the cake, but no... You took it anyways! And you ate all of it! Didn't even save any of it for me.."  
  
"Well you told me not to take it so I figured you wouldn't want any of it. Besides it was vanilla, you don't like vanilla."  
  
  
  
"Pip that's my favorite! I don't like chocolate!"  
  
"Really?" he tapped his forehead, obviously in deep thought," I always thought it was vanilla..."  
  
I tried to hold in my laugh, but it didn't work..  
  
"Merry what was that?"  
  
I tried to hide myself behind the corner but they found me anyways.  
  
"Ahh! Pippin its the lady we ran over in the hallway!! RUN!!!"  
  
Might as well join them in their game of cat and mouse..  
  
"SILLY HOBBITS! YOU CANNOT ESCAPE!!"  
  
While chasing the obviously crazed hobbits, I unfortunately mimicked the unfortunate incident that they had with me. I ran into someone. My victim had obviously a very solid hold on the ground because as I knocked into him, I was the only one that fell. I looked up from my position on the ground to find myself speechless. I had finally found him, by accident of course, but I found him none the less.  
  
I grinned sheepishly, "Hi, I'm really sorry that I ran into you. I didn't mean it, I was chasing the hobbits who knocked me down in the hallway. Which I just did to you..."  
  
Legolas looked at me and smiled, "It is alright mellon, I won't chase you around the halls because you ran into me."  
  
I smiled, oh but I wish you would. Well I wish you would chase after me, just not when you're angry..  
  
"Thank you uhm....." I already knew his name, obviously, but I just acted like it so he would talk to me some more.  
  
  
  
"Legolas Greenleaf, Lady..."  
  
I smiled, " Thank you Legolas, my name is Angelique, and drop the lady, it makes me sound... so much more mature than I act."  
  
"Alright Angelique." At that an elf came and whispered something into Legolas' ear.  
  
"I am sorry to cut our meeting short, but I must go attend something of great importance."  
  
"You are going to the council, right?"  
  
Legolas raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Well I am going as well so, would you be so polite as to escort me to the meeting, as I do not know where it is.."  
  
I grinned sheepishly again and he just nodded taking my hand in his and leading us outside into the garden.  
  
I spotted Vickie sitting next to Gandalf. She waved and motioned for me to sit next to her. I said goodbye to Legolas and sat next to her.  
  
She smirked, "I see your elf search was successful."  
  
"Yes it was, now all we have to do is find you Haldir.."  
  
She grimaced, "Uhm.. no he's too icky.."  
  
"Just wait and see Vickie, somehow I will set you two up.."  
  
  
  
Elrond stood up signaling that the council was starting. I looked around and saw the fellowship sitting with their fellow races. Gimli with the dwarves, Legolas the elves, Boromir with his fellow men, the only exceptions were Aragorn, Frodo, Gandalf, and me and my sister.  
  
Elrond began to speak, "Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. You have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle-Earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate--this one doom." He gestured to the pedestal,"Bring forth the ring, Frodo."  
  
I watched as Frodo rose from his seat and placed the ring upon the stone pedestal and then return to his seat. The people around us began to whisper and the ring began to kind of glow..  
  
"So it is true.."  
  
I whipped my head around to face Boromir and heard someone say 'the doom of men'. I watched as Boromir shook his head.  
  
"It is a gift. A gift to the foes of Mordor. Why not use this Ring? Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor, kept the forces of Mordor at bay. By the blood of our people are your lands kept safe! Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him!"  
  
I shook my head, this is the beginning of the end for you Boromir..  
  
"You cannot wield it! None of us can. The One Ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master."  
  
Boromir sneered, "And what would a mere ranger know of this matter?"  
  
Legolas jumped up, angry, "This is no mere ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance!"  
  
Boromir looked surprised, "Aragorn... This is Isildur's heir?"  
  
Legolas smirked, "And heir to the throne of Gondor."  
  
I remembered this part in the movie so I stood up, "Havo dad Legolas."  
  
Legolas looked surprised, as did Aragorn, but all I did was sit back down.  
  
Boromir looked a bit angry as he spat out, "Gondor has no king, Gondor needs no king."   
  
Gandalf finally spoke up, "Aragorn is right. We cannot use it."  
  
Elrond looked solemn, "You have only one choice. The ring must be destroyed."  
  
I looked at Gimli, I knew what was to come next and I covered my ears.  
  
"Then what are we waiting for?" Gimli picked up his axe and ran towards the ring striking it full force. The ring was left untouched and Gimli, who was thrown back by the power of the ring, lay crumpled on the ground. Luckily he was unhurt, except for his pride.  
  
Elrond shook his head, "The Ring cannot be destroyed, Gimli, son of Gloin by any craft that we here possess. The Ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came. One of you must do this."  
  
Boromir looked horrified, "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its black gates are guarded by more than just orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust. The very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly!"  
  
Legolas stood once more, "Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The Ring must be destroyed!"  
  
Gimli lept to his feet, "And I suppose you think you're the one to do it?!"  
  
Boromir rose also, "And if we fail, what then?! What happens when Sauron takes back what is his?!"  
  
Gimli shouted angrily, " I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an elf! Never trust an elf!"  
  
All this commotion started an argument between the elders of the council. I sighed, nothing would come of this if they kept acting like babies.  
  
Gandalf joined the bickering and I felt as if all our hope was gone, but then I remembered what would happen now. Frodo would volunteer himself, and would be ignored at his first couple attempts. I will see to it that he will not be ignored.  
  
I saw the determination dawn on Frodo's face as he stood."I will take it!"  
  
No one heard him so I stood and did the only thing that I thought would do the trick, "SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!!"  
  
The council members fell quiet as I continued, "I believe the young hobbit has something to say, don't you?"  
  
I saw Gandalf's eyes close as Frodo said the fate sealing words, "I will take the ring to Mordor--Though I do not know the way.."  
  
I watched Gandalf walk over to Frodo, " I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, so long as it is yours to bear.'  
  
I saw Aragorn rise and do the same, "If by my life or death, I can protect you, I will. You have my sword. "  
  
Legolas stood, "And you have my bow."  
  
Gimli, obviously not wanting to be bested by and elf, and a hot elf if I may say so myself,   
  
stood also, "And my axe!"  
  
Borormir went to Frodo and knelt, "You carry the fates of us all little one. If this is indeed the will of the council, then Gondor will see it done."  
  
I am so not going to be left of this, I mean how many chances like this pop up in your life? None!  
  
I stood, "I am coming also, though I do not have any experience in weapons, I am experienced in hand-to-hand combat, as is my sister, and will protect Frodo as needed. There will   
  
be nothing you can do to change my mind!"  
  
Elrond looked doubtful, but a look from Gandalf told him all that was needed.  
  
All of a sudden a noise from the bushes was heard, and out popped a hobbit.  
  
"Heh! Mr. Frodo is not goin' anywhere without me!"   
  
Elrond frowned, "No indeed, it is hardly possible to separate you even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not."  
  
I looked towards the bushes waiting for the other two hobbits that would be joining us on this quest...thing..  
  
"Wait! We are coming too!" Ahh.. here they are..  
  
Merry looked at Elrond and said, "You'd have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us!"  
  
Pippin tried persuading Elrond, "Anyway you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission, quest... thing."  
  
Merry looked at him, "Well that rules you out Pip."  
  
Elrond raised his arms, "Eleven companions... So be it! You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring!"  
  
Pippin looked at him, "Great! Where are we going?"  
  
I sighed and shook my head, this was going to be a long trip..  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ahhhhh!! I checked my e-mail when I was writing this, and I got a thing saying I had a review. So I was all 'Yay! I got a review' But lo and behold I just didn't get a review, I got... I got... A FLAME!! So I'm all sad now, but life will go on, I guess. Thank you to all my loyal reviewers, I love you! This is my longest chapter yet, I know kind of sad, but I am really proud of myself!! 


	7. MAD Stands For Men Are Difficult

Hey, I am really starting to enjoy writing this fic so you guys get another new chapter! Wow that's two in a row... Not much else to say, I'll try to make this an extra-long chapter! 

Disclaimer: Don't own, geez guys. How many times do we have to go through this?

Arachnophobia To The Point Of Extinction

M.A.D. Men Are Difficult

Well we stayed there a couple months before leaving for the actual journey. Legolas and I became good friends, Pippin and Merry became accustomed to calling me "Angelique" and not "Ahh! It's the lady we ran over in the hallway!", all in all I grew closer to the people I would be spending a really long time with. Legolas was kind enough to teach me how to use a bow and arrow and Boromir gave me lessons in sword fighting. I almost hit Elrond the first time a bow was placed in my hands; he never came to watch any of my lessons after that. Boromir, although I didn't like him very much at first, grew on me; we are now friends and talk whenever we can. Sam is still a worry wart, always worrying about this and that. 'Do we have enough food?', 'Oh no, don't put that in there, we won't need that.', 'Mr. Frodo likes strawberries, do you think you could put some in there?' I swear another word out of that hobbit and it'll be a fellowship of TEN!

I had finally gotten to actually meet Arwen during our stay. She was so nice, always so polite, she was so beautiful too, and she was what I had always secretly wished I was. She and I became friends instantly and spent a lot of time together during the months we spent in Rivendell. Only a couple more days till we leave...

Well today was the day. We were finally leaving for Mordor. I was so nervous, I began to pace along my room. I had anticipated this day for months, now was not the time for second thoughts.

I walked outside my room to find Legolas; I really needed someone to talk to now. I found Legolas surrounded by elves, of the female variety no doubt. I was overcome by the green eye of jealousy, I wonder if it's related to Sauron's big eye? Well since Legolas is obviously too busy for me, I guess I must find someone else to talk to. Normally I would have sought out my sister first, but she was still sleeping, and therefore practically dead and useless to everyone.

Let's see next in line would be Frodo, but I don't want to disturb him with my worries. It would just make him feel more nervous about HIS journey, and I didn't need him to worry about me. Arwen! How could I forget Arwen? Well I'll just have to seek her out now and apologize, secretly to her in my head and all will be forgiven. I found Arwen sitting outside admiring the scenery.

I sat down next to her on the bench. "Arwen, can I talk to you?"

She smiled, "Of course mellonamin. my friend"

"Arwen, I'm nervous about what's going to happen. Actually I am not nervous about what is going to happen because I know what is going to happen. I guess I am nervous about what I will do when the time comes for me to do something."

Arwen looked puzzled, "Mellon friend what did you mean when you said that you knew what was going to happen?"

Oh shoot.. "I-I-... I meant... oh man..."

I lowered my head, "Arwen, I have something to tell you, but you absolutely cannot tell anyone else! Ok?"

"I understand, mellon."

"Arwen, my sister and I aren't from around here. You could probably tell by the way we act, the way we were dressed when we were found, and by our accents. Well we're REALLY not from around here. We're not even from this world. Long ago in a galaxy far, far away, a man named JRR Tolkien wrote a book. This book was called 'The Lord of The Rings'. The book that Tolkien wrote is basically a book about everything that is about to happen and what has happened before that has lead up to the destruction of the ring."

"So a man from your world wrote a book containing knowledge of all of our lives and the history of Middle-Earth?"

I smiled; she was getting this, "Yes that's exactly what I am saying!"

Arwen looked at me, "So you know what is going to happen to Estel.."

"Estel? Oh you mean Aragorn.. Yes I know what is going to happen to him, and you."

"Mellon you must tell me! I need to know what will happen to us!"

I took Arwen's hands and looked at her, "Arwen, you know I can't do that. You have to believe that Aragorn will return to you. You have to have faith in HIM, not in something that I tell you."

Arwen stood up, "I understand, thank you. I am going to seek him out so that I may spend what little time we have left together with him before he leaves. And I do have faith in him mellon."

I watched her leave. Well that was productive, I guess. I wandered about the halls for a bit looking for Legolas once again. Maybe his throng of worshippers would leave him alone for a couple of minutes and he would give me another lesson. I found him at the archery range getting ready to shoot an arrow. Hah! This would be a great time to sneak up on him.

I slowly tiptoed behind and was about to shoot 'Boo!' when he turned around and said, "Angelique, I do not think that you remember that elves have very good hearing?"

Damn elf hearing, it would've been a good joke too!

"You know that that is really not fair. Isn't there, ya know, an off switch to your hearing? One day I would like to be able to sneak up on an elf!"

The elves around us laughed, as well as Legolas, "Maybe one day lirimaer lovely one, but today is not that day!"

"I do not find myself 'lovely' Legolas Greenleaf, so if you'd be so kind as to not call me that. I would appreciate it."

He wrapped his arm around my waist and whispered in my ear, "You may not find yourself lovely, my lady, but there are some that do."

He moved away and chuckled. I didn't find that funny! He was too close, and his breath was so warm.., it sent shivers up and down my spine. Well another elf to add to the list of those that don't know the meaning of 'personal boundaries'.

I was about to retort with something, obviously very witty, I mean this is me we're talking about, when Aragorn came in through the door.

"We are leaving, now!"

We had been traveling a couple of weeks, when we stopped to take a rest.

My sister grimaced, "Man my feet hurt!" She sniffed herself,"And I smell! Blech! Ang what about you?"

I looked at my sister, laughing, "Well Vick, my feet hurt a bit too, but I doubt I smell as bad as you do!"

She smiled, "Oh look who's talking!"

"I wouldn't talk about personal hygiene with you Vickie; you shower about as much as Aragorn!" I laughed.

Aragorn smiled and then laughed, "I highly doubt that..."

I laughed and then stopped to observe what everyone was doing. Sam was making lunch with Frodo helping him, Gandalf was sitting across from Gimli, Legolas was on lookout I guess, Boromir was trying to teach Pippin and Merry how to sword fight, Vickie was bugging Sam about when lunch would be ready, and Aragorn was watching the hobbits train with Boromir while smoking his pipe.

Boromir smiled, "Two, One, Five. Good, very good."

Aragorn took his pipe out of his mouth, "Move your feet."

Pippin tried it again, moving his feet this time.

Merry watched, "That's good, Pippin."

Pip smiled, "Thanks."

Boromir looked at them, "Move faster!"

"If anyone was to ask for my opinion, which I note they're not, I'd say we were taking the long way round. Gandalf, we could pass through the Mines of Moria. My cousin Balin would give us a royal welcome."

I looked at Gimli and Gandalf.

Gandalf said sternly, "No Gimli, I would not take the roads through Moria unless I had no other choice."

I turned back to the hobbits and their lessons, "Come on, good."

"Aaaah!" I looked at Pippin and saw that Boromir had accidentally nicked him.

Boromir looked at Pippin's hand, "I'm sorry."

I watched as Pippin kicked Boromir in the shin. I laughed; it was funny to see a grown man get kicked by a hobbit!

"Aaah!"

Merry let out a war cry, "Get him!"

Pippin screamed, "For the Shire!"

I watched their mock battle, and saw Boromir 'go down'.

"Hold him! Hold him, Merry!"

"He's got my arm, he's got my arm!"

I turned away from them and looked at Sam. He seemed to be staring at something in the sky. I turned my head upwards and saw a little black cloud.

Sam turned to me, "What is that?"

Gimli snorted, "Nothing. Just a whiff of a cloud."

Boromir looked up also, "It's moving fast...against the wind."

Legolas came up from behind a rock shouting, "Crebain from Dunland!"

Aragorn shouted, "Hide!" While Sam put out the fire for the food and hid the food under a blanket.

"Merry, Frodo! Come on, come on take cover!"

I just stood there, "Dunland? Where the hell is Dunlan..Oof!"

Luckily my elf saved me; I kind of hoped he would've saved me in a more traditional manner. Rather than tackling me to the ground and dragging me under a rock. But I guess you have to remember, this is Middle-Earth, their ways are different here.

I watched the seemingly innocent flock of black birds fly over us and go southward. We were cowering under a rock because of giant black birds!

Gandalf came out from under a rock, "Spies of Saruman! The passage south is being watched. We must take the Pass of Caradhras."

Of course, the birds are spies of Saruman! I knew that.. Wait? He said the Pass of Caradhras! Man.. that place is really cold...

Legolas stood up from his hiding place beneath the rock, helping me up, "You should really be more careful arwenamin." my lady

I scowled, but inside I was smiling, "Legolas, how many times do I have to tell you?"

Legolas smiled, "Atleast once more, arwenamin."

I ran toward my sister so that I was walking next to her, "Ergg! And people say men are difficult? I say nay! Its the elven men that are difficult!"

My sister laughed, "I believe that it is just males in general that are difficult!"

I nodded my head, "Yes, all males except for those that are hobbits!"

Frodo and Sam smiled. Pippin and Merry ran up to us, bowed their heads, and asked if they could escort us to the Pass of Caradhras.

We smiled, "We would be honored kind sirs." We linked arms with them and mimicked walking into a ball, all the way to the pass.

We were a few hours into the pass, and it wasn't getting any warmer! I looked at poor Frodo struggling to walk up the mountain and then to Legolas who was way ahead of us on lookout.

I turned to Frodo, "You know what Frodo? I think Elves should have some flaw. I mean they are absolutely gorgeous, they have perfect hearing, they're not bothered by the cold, AND they can walk on snow! I mean it's just not fair!"

Frodo smiled, and Pippin jumped into our conversation, "I agree wholeheartedly. Hobbits should be able to walk on snow too!"

I chuckled, "Pippin, that's not what I meant.."

"You mean you don't think that Hobbits should be able to walk on snow?"

"I-no... never mind..."

I looked at Aragorn, and beyond him Frodo, who had fallen behind since our conversation. He would lose his footing soon and..

"Ungh!" There he goes..

Frodo rolled a bit and then stopped. I watched him pick himself up off the ground and begin searching for the ring. I could tell, by the look on his face, that the realization had dawned on him, that he had dropped the ring.

Aragorn looked worried, "Frodo!"

But Frodo wasn't listening, he was looking at Boromir. Aragorn turned to look at Boromir, "Boromir.."

Boromir's eyes were glazed, "It is a strange fate we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing... such a little thing."

I will not lose a friend! I shouted, "Boromir! Give Frodo the ring, NOW!"

Boromir handed over the ring to Frodo, "As you wish, I care not.."

I watched Boromir for a bit, and continued walking up the mountain. After a couple of minutes I could hear something, something very faint, but there none the less.

Legolas came towards us from the front, "There is a fell voice in the air!"

Gandalf turned, "Its Saruman!"

At that moment a small avalanche came down upon us, missing us by a hair and no more.

Aragorn looked in disbelief, "He is trying to bring down the mountain! Gandalf we must turn back!"

Gandalf shouted, "No!"

"Losto Caradhras, sedho, hodo, nuitho i 'ruith! Sleep Caradhras, be still, lie still, hold your wrath!

I could hear, faintly, Saruman's words.

"Cuiva nwalca Carnirasse; Nai yarvaxea rasselya; taltuva notto-carinnar! Wake up cruel Redhorn! May your bloodstained horn fall upon enemy heads!

I watched lightning strike the top of Caradhras and engulf us in a second avalanche. I saw Legolas snatch Gandalf from the edge, before he was completely consumed by the snow.

I emerged out of the snow, spitting out some snow that had gotten into my mouth.

"Hey Vickie? You alive?"

I saw her head pop out from some of the snow, "Yeah, I'm okay. Let's see if we can free Merry and Pip from this Winter Wonderland."

We found them safely near Boromir making, would you believe it, snow hobbits.

"We go to save you and we find you, safely here, making.. making.. What in heavens name are you making?"

My sister looked at me, "Isn't it obvious? Their making snow hobbits! Albeit horrible ones, but that's because no one has ever taught them how to make a proper snow angel!"

I rolled my eyes and rubbed my temples, "I do not have the patience for this.."

Aragorn walked by laughing at my misery and gave me a pat on the back, "Don't worry I feel you're pain."

"Ha! You wanna feel pain mister! I'll show you pain!" I picked up a lump of snow and formed it into a sphere, and I threw it at him! I had just started the biggest snowball fight ever in the history of Middle-Earth!

But our good cheer was ruined when we found Gandalf and the others.

"If we cannot pass over a mountain, let us go under it. Let us go through the mines of Moria."

Gandalf shook his head and looked grim, "Let the ring-bearer decide."

I watched Frodo glance at Sam and then say, "We will go through the mines."

"The walls of Moria!" Gimli said in awe.

I approached the wall, lightly touching the carvings, "It's beautiful.."

I heard Gandalf step beside me, "Now, let's see. Ithildin -- it mirrors only starlight and moonlight."

As soon as he said that the moon appeared from behind the clouds and the door was revealed.

Gandalf walked closer to the door, "It reads "The doors of Durin - Lord of Moria. Speak friend and enter."

Frodo sat down on a nearby rock, while Merry asked, "What do you suppose that means?"

Gandalf said matter-of-factly, "Oh it's quite simple. If you are a friend you speak the password and the doors will open."

"Annon Edhellen edro hi ammen! Gate of the Elves open now for me!" When it didn't work he tried to push the door open with his staff.

Time passed and Gandalf still couldn't figure out that all he had to do was say 'mellon' and the doors would open.

Gandalf walked to the doors one more time, "Ando Eldarinwa a lasta quettanya, Fenda Casarinwa! Gate of Elves listen to my word, Threshold of Dwarves!

I watched as Aragorn unhitched Bill's bridle, "The mines are no place for a pony, even one so brave as Bill."

I watched Sam wipe away a tear, "Buh-bye Bill.."

Aragorn tried to comfort Sam, "Go on, Bill, go on. Don't worry Sam, he knows the way home."

I turned my attention once again on Gandalf who sat down next to Frodo, defeated.

"Oh! It's useless."

I chuckled, "Gandalf, why don't you ask Frodo what he thinks.."

Frodo nodded, "I think it's a riddle. Speak 'friend' and enter. What's the Elvish word for friend?"

I smiled, "Mellon."

The doors opened and I walked into the mines side by side with Legolas.

Gimli smiled, "Soon master elf you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the dwarves. Roaring fires, malt beer, ripe meat off the bone. This, my friend, is the home of my cousin Balin. And they call it a mine. A mine!"

Boromir looked grim, "This is no mine, it's a tomb!"

I winced as I noticed that the floor was littered with dwarf corpses.. I felt Legolas wrap an arm around me.

I looked at him and he hugged me closer.

Gimli ran towards the corpses, "NO! OH NO! NOOOO!

Legolas examined an arrow from the body of a fallen dwarf and then threw it away in disgust. I looked at him.

"Goblins.."

Vickie looked at me, "So I'm guessing these aren't the little tiny ones that steal you're shoes at night, right?"

I let out a dry laugh, my sister could still find humor even in the most dire moments..

Boromir, Aragorn, and Legolas all had drawn out their swords, searching the mines for any sign of movement.

Boromir looked at all of us, "We make for the Gap of Rohan. We should never have come here."

We all started for the door, when I heard something stir.

"Now get out of here, get out!" Boromir shouted.

I stopped in my tracks and watched Frodo run towards the door.

Boromir looked at me like I was crazy, "I said get out!"

I watched as a tentacle wrapped around Frodo's ankle and pulled, dragging him towards the water.

"FRODO!" I ran towards the water taking out the bow Legolas had given me. It wasn't as good as his but it would suffice.

I saw Sam draw try to cut off the tentacles holding Frodo. I notched an arrow quickly and tried to aim for the tentacles near Sam. I hit a couple, but my aim isn't as good as Legolas'. I figured this was going too slow so I put my bow back and found a dropped sword and slashed at a tentacle.

"Into the mines!"

"Legolas! Aim for his eye! Come on!"

I turned back to head for the doorway when one of the tentacles grabbed my ankle. I screamed, this thing was really scary! Then Legolas shot the tentacle holding my ankle, grabbed me, and we ran for the doorway.

Once inside, I felt moderately better, considering I had a slimy thing wrapped around my leg the moment before. Yes, I would say I felt a lot better.

I looked at Frodo, "Are you alright?"

Frodo smiled weakly, "I should be asking the same of you."

I shook my head, "No Frodo, I am unimportant."

Gandalf turned, "No one here is unimportant, we all have a part to play in this."

I nodded ashamed, "I understand it's.. it's nothing."

"Well, now that that is cleared up. We now have but one choice. We must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world."

We walked up the steps, each stair step becoming wider than the last. I accidentally bumped against the wall causing the hilt of my sword to scratch against the wall.

Gandalf looked at me, "Quietly now. It's a four-day journey to the other side. Let us hope that our presence may go unnoticed."

FOUR DAYS! I can't be quiet for four days!

We soon entered a really big cave, with two ways we could go.

Gandalf stopped, "I have no memory of this place."

We sat down and rested while Gandalf thought about which way we should go.

Pippin sat down next to me, "Are we lost?"

Legolas and I smiled, "No."

Vickie smirked, "I think we are."

Sam looked agitated, "Shh! Gandalf is thinking!"

Pippin and Vickie looked at each other, "I'm hungry.."

I turned to Legolas, "Do they ever think of anything besides their stomachs? I am beginning to think that that is all they are!"

He laughed, "I would hope so, or all the food will be gone."

"Ang, do you miss home?"

I looked at Vickie. I had forgotten all about home, of course it never really was home for me.

"Ang, do you miss your friends? Ben?"

Legolas frowned and looked at me, "Who is Ben?"

I raised my hands, "Ben? Uhm.. he was...uh.. he was my uhm.. Gerbil! Yes, he was my Gerbil!" I grinned triumphantly.

Legolas looked skeptical.

"Don't worry Leggy. You will always be a'maelamin. my beloved"

I could hear gagging noises behind us.

"VICKIE!"

"What I'm sorry. It was my throat, really!"

I shook my head. Yes, it was her throat, which she would no longer have if she kept this up.

"Ah! It is that way!" I heard Gandalf proclaim.

Merry stood up, "He's remembered!"

"No, but the air doesn't smell so foul down here. If in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow your nose."

Vickie smirked, "The only reason the air doesn't smell so foul over there is because Aragorn was sitting near the other tunnel!"

I smacked her on the back of the head and Aragorn laughed.

Wow! This one was really, really, really long! Way longer than my normal ones! Well I hope you like this one and thanks to all of you who reviewed my earlier chapter including Amadea and Sweet A.K.!

My tabs aren't working right now for some weird reason. Once I figure it out I shall go back and fix it.


	8. AUTHOR'S NOTE!

Hello this is Queenoffaeries1 you may have noticed that I changed my pen name to No Named Angel. I've been contemplating picking this story back up and finishing it as it has been on my mind for awhile. I am still looking for someone to beta this story. All reviews will be/are appreciated. I love every single person who has reviewed this story and I hope you continue to do so!

ANGIE 


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